Monday, February 29, 2016

Intro

I've always found power and solace in words; currently, writing in a blog is my latest channel of expression. I've often written my thoughts in a blog-esque format on my own, but now I'm moving to something more centralized and versatile. And although I'd rather not be hiding behind the pseudonym of "Logan Williams," I think it's justified in this case. (Not that too many people will be seeing this anyway.)

To sum it up: I love the rain, a great movie, and my family (whether biological or not). I am a young adult, an oldest child, an idealist, a libertarian, and a Mormon. And I guess I'm gay.

I officially came out to myself last summer, and it's certainly been an interesting and unexpected ride ever since. Throughout this span of time, I have sinned worse than I'd expected and I have felt closer to God than I'd deemed possible. Since the full realization of my homosexuality really hit, I have incessantly learned and doubted. Many times I have felt alone or slighted, other times perfectly at peace, but many more times I have felt a numbing nothing at all.

I do not know if I will marry in this life, or have children, or ever be satisfied in a relationship, or ever feel truly fulfilled. I do not know how much is expected of me in this time of mine on this planet. But I do know that this ride is far from over, and that I have a God and Savior who understand. Through the sin and hopelessness, the casting of stones and the numbness, they alone understand infinitely.

That is literally all that matters anymore.

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